Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Life ........






I've been in a very reflective mood for the past few weeks.  It's funny how life changes from day to day and how we sometimes want to go back in time and go back to the way things used to be.

I remember clearly the joy of being able to stay at home with my children when they were little, the creative freedom it gave me and the licence to do whatever I wanted.

I remember trying to convince my husband into letting me go back to work when our youngest began school so I could contribute to the family income and make our lives "better"



I remember the fear of re-training and entering the corporate world once again and the time that it has taken me to get where I am today but now I feel my heart sliding back down the other side. 

The want and need for life to get simple again. 




I try very hard not to wish my life away but all I want is for life to be uncomplicated,  I want to enjoy the little things again and savour every moment instead of not having the time to enjoy any moments, because the little things do matter.  But the BIG things that can be avoided if life was to change, just get in the way.

Like sitting in the sunshine and relaxing, really sitting and really relaxing and not making 100 mental lists of the things that need to be done once I stop sitting in the sunshine - I know you will understand - It happens to you too - It happens to all of us.

But how do we get off this merry go round we are on?




I suppose we have to want it bad enough.  Be prepared to make the sacrifices and make a priority of the things that matter to us.  Shedding the things that don't ........



And do what makes us happy for our short stay in this life. 

As you know I have been making changes for the past few months, all of them have come from much thought, discussion and tears.  Letting go is always the hardest and the fear of the unknown the worst BUT each day I try to remind myself that I will fulfill my dreams in the end. 

Fear keeps creeping in and making me doubt my decisions, But I am trying very hard to steady my resolve and feel comfortable with the unknown.  Hopefully one day I will look back on this time and wonder why I didn't do it sooner.


But one thing I do know is that something has to change.  I do not want life to have passed me by and left me wondering what it would have been like had I chased my dream of a creative and simple life.



So now I am on a journey of the heart - If only my brain would just butt out ! 

For those of you that have supported part of that dream "Fee's Shabby Shack" I thank you from the deepest loving chambers of my heart.  Your support and custom has been amazing and I hope that The Shack can continue to bring some joy into your Inbox each day.  The calls and e-mails of support have been wonderful and I simply cannot thank you enough.




So for now I am keeping on the path of following my dreams.  Who knows where they will take me BUT one thing I do know for sure is that I will enjoy every moment of it, I will savour it and hopefully in the end I will be brave enough to endure it.

Love and Hugs,

Fee xx

20 comments:

Melody said...

I have similar dreams for a simple life. I hope yours come true.

Peg - Happy In Quilting said...

Beautiful words Fee...and thanks so much for the Shack...

Sharon - Lilabelle Lane said...

Beautifull written and I will remember this as our youngest gets closer to starting kinder and that feeling that I should be working, but then I am, just at home. So much to consider. hugs xx

Jeanette said...

Great post Fee. Hugs,

Michele said...

you read my mind..... :) now if only we could get both our brains to go on a long long holiday together.

By Hoki Quilts said...

Honey, follow that great big heart of yours, it wont lead you astray.
lots of hugsssss
Miche'le

De said...

Simply gorgeous Fee.......you are an inspiration. xoox

Cathy said...

Oh yes I totally understand!! Xx

Sandi said...

Loved reading your blog today...(and other days too), but I think everyone should stop and smell the roses and not make a list of when to prune, cut, water etc the roses..life is too short...love the sayings too.

Jo in TAS said...

Damn that brain, it ruins a good thing! Stay true to yourself Fee and those dreams will come true.
Hugs
Jo
xxx

Sarah said...

Dear Fee,

Decisions which are huge are never easy to make. It is so hard juggling everything and trying to work out what is best for our families and ourselves. Often by stepping out we find that new vistas open up before us. Some so much better than we ever thought possible. One of the biggest decisions of my life was to choose to homeschool my children. My husband supported me in this joint decision. By default this also meant that we would only have one wage coming in (I spent years worrying over this loss of a second income!)Not only that but for six of those years my husband was a Uni student with casual employment. Now after 13 years, I am almost at the end of this particular journey; my son (now a Uni student himself) is leaving home and my daughter will soon be at TAFE. But, I'm glad I made that choice. In those days it was very radical. It hasn't necessarily been an easy journey like life itself, full of ups and downs. The number of times I doubted myself over the years would be impossible to count. I've cried, I've laughed, I've despaired but I will never regret my choice. But, this is only one part of my dream. Now as this chapter closes it is time to turn the page and commence the next.

I don't know if you are familiar with the poet, Robert Frost. He wrote a piece called "The Road Not Taken". When I come to a cross roads in my own life I often think of his words. Somehow, they always manage to bring me comfort and encourage me in my own journey.

Life is fleeting and stepping into the unknown always fills us with fear. We tend to dwell on the "What could go wrong" senarios rather than focusing on the potential positive outcomes. Ultimately, only you know what is best for your family and yourself. But,know that our thoughts are with you.

Hugs,
Sarah.

Pippas quilts said...

I made a life changing decision 18 months ago it was the best thing I ever did. I have had to tighten my purse but worth every precious moment. Heart rules.

Noela said...

Lovely post Fee.A simple life is what most people would like I think but it's not always that easy to achieve. We just have to keep working at it. Hugs....

barb's creations said...

I think we all strive for a simpler life,if we want it bad enough we'll make it happen one way or another mine is going to begin after finishing 2 years of study and finally getting of that merry-go-round and find a bit more balance and a less hectic life I hope you too find what you're looking/hoping for too :) Barb

barcord said...

Some lovely sentiments in your post Fee. I enjoy all your giftedness (is that a word)in the things you make. The years when your kids are young are always busy. Can I offer you another comfort. Jesus said,
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Blessings Bxx

Michelle Ridgway said...

Such a beautiful and heartfelt post Fee. It is a very brave thing to leap towards the life you desire for your heart especially when you nearly always have to learn to fly on the way. If you listen to your heart and soul it will not lead you astray. I was like you for several years when a friend said 'how do you expect to see your window of opportunity when you won't close the back door. So I got brave and took a leap through that window. I still get the wobbles but I know in my being that I did the right thing 'for me' and when you trust that it is amazing what presents itself to you. Have faith Fee you have what it takes in spades. Hugs xx

Annette said...

Hello Fee, it must be the season!! I am also at the crossroads, very difficult to know what is right. I've been a widow for 13yrs,I'm now 61yo but have a lovely special man in my life who would love me to retire & travel, but after being "independent" for so long, its a difficult decision. A much simpler life would suit us all, sitting enjoying the sun & scenery is what my dream is also. Those little sayings through your post are beautiful.....where do you find such beautiful sayings. Follow your dream & enjoy xx Take care

Michelle May said...

Ahhhh my friend...this post was so perfectly beautiful. I share your feelings and have been on the same path. It's nice to be with such good company. :)
Hugs!

Kerryanne @ Shabby Art Boutique said...

Reading your post Fee is like looking in the mirror for me. I was you once. Then, as you know I decided to follow my dream and throw caution to the wind. It was a risk, there were huge sacrifices, but I will never ever regret our sea change.

We have less income now. My huband has a less important job.... but we also are happier than we have ever been. We spend time walking on the beach, we are relaxed and less stressed and make sure we take time to actually enjoy life.

If we hadn't have taken that risk and beleived in our dreams, we'd still be on that corporate treadmill with no time to enjoy life.

I'm so glad you've followed your heart Fee. Passion rarely let's you down. You are destined for wonderful things ♥

Sisbabestitches said...

Lovely post Fee. How is it the brain gets so LOUD and our hearts/spirit, so quiet? Hope you keep listening to the soft voices and gentle whispers.