Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Another Curve Ball



The day before my last blog post something happened.  Whilst I was away at Let's Get Stitched my 89 year old mother in law who lived on her own had 3 falls.  She was hospitalised and was only released on the condition that she came into our care.  The alternative was a nursing home.  Beryl is a lovely lady and doesn't deserve to spend the rest of her days amongst strangers so we took the decision to have her live with us.  I trained in Aged Care over 10 years ago and out of all her children we were really the only ones that were able to have her for one reason or another.  Sadly Beryl is now "high care"and required 24/7 care and observation so some tough decisions had to be made.




I spoke with the University about possibly doing my studies part time or deferring but sadly both were not an option due to the complexity of the 2 year fast track course I was undertaking so I had to make the heart wrenching decision to withdraw for the time being.  I am able to reapply in the future but a position is not guaranteed.  I could not possibly manage a full study load with Beryl's care and now 4 weeks into full time care I don't think part-time study would have been an option either.  


 It has taken me the full 4 weeks to adjust to how life now is and to come to terms with the fact that I  do not have a future mapped out for now and that each day will bring with it a new set of challenges.  I now feel that I am ok with our decision and as long as I get some "time out" I will be fine.  To aid me in having some "me" time, yesterday we set up a little corner in the studio for me to relax in.  I can come to the studio, shut the door and veg out on the couch for an hour or so.  What this has done for my mental state has been amazing to say the least.


I have managed some sewing in the past month.  Our middle daughter is 21 next month and I have made her a quilt in her modern colour scheme.  It has been sent off to be quilted.


I've also been stitching a few of the Urban Stitches Blocks.  These little blocks have brought me a lot of joy over the past few weeks.


They are just so sweet and quite achievable in a day or two


So at least now I will have a little time to sit and sew each day and also to blog again on a more regular basis.

Until next time.

Hugs,

Fee xx

18 comments:

Leanne said...

Hello Fee
I'm so sorry to read about your mother in law and even more sorry for you that you had to stop your studies. Maybe one day you can get back to it. Family really is the most important thing and you are an angel for what you are doing. Beautiful stitching to.

Anita : Shabby Quilt said...

Sorry that you have been thrown a curve ball. Hope it doesn't become to much for you. Take Care hope you can still follow your dream down the track.

Jan said...

Hi Fee, I'm so sorry you can't follow your dream just yet. You are so wonderful to have taken a deep breath and plunged into a new unexpected life. Please allow yourself plenty of "me" time and take advantage of any help that's offered. Good luck with everything.

Peg - Happy In Quilting said...

You are one very caring DIL xxx

Vickie said...

Sometimes in life these Curve balls have a reason for coming our way - I'd say this one came your way as you are such a caring and loving person who is able to provide Beryl with care & dignity she deserves. It is wonderful to see that you have your LET ME CHILL space-this is very important and I can hear the smile in your voice as I read your words. Great to see you have been able to do some sewing and stitching-sending bug hugs for the internal pull that happens when making such a big decision...huge Vickie

Kate said...

"Things happen for a reason" Fee. Your MIL is a very lucky lady to have such a caring DIL ...

Janice said...

Having been in your shoes I understand. Please make sure you take that time for yourself or you will burn out and the consequences of that are not good. Hopefully the other siblings can give you some respite at times, even if it's only for an evening out or a small day trip. Make sure you look after yourself, that is the most important key to the whole situation! Not everyone is lucky enough to have a wonderful DIL like you!

Denise SA said...

So sorry about everything but I am sure you will gain more from looking after your MIL than you realise
Remember to take the time to relax
Sending hugs for you all

Helen said...

Sorry to hear all that has happened, but don't forget to take care of yourself as you are now the pillar :)

Dianne Sahakian said...

Fee Sometimes these things happen and it is wonderful you and your husband will take care of her and see if she belongs to the AARP as they may have services to help, also your mayors office where you live and any senior centers near you. Help is out there, also social services at the hospital where she was at to help you.

Fiona said...

Glad to hear you are turning a corner.... grief is experienced at some level for any loss- and the loss of a dream is hard .... your special me time space is a wonderful idea...
Hugz

Jacqueline said...

Your family is blessed to have you.

Tammy said...

I am so sorry all this has happened and your dreams have to go on hold... May each day bring you a blessing to know you are giving her the best of care and that you will have your turn again at Nursing school. Hugs from South Carolina, USA

KaHolly said...

You are doing an amazing thing and when all is said and done, you will be so thankful of your decision. Believe it or not, everything will fall into place.

Jane said...

Fee, I am sorry to hear this. I feel like I know what you are going through. I moved in with me parents ages 90 and 92, in August of last year. It has been over 7 months and I don't know what the future holds, like you. Some days are OK but other days are hard because I feel I have no life. (very selfish). Like you I get peace from embroidery. I have completed the stitches on your "Betsy's Closet" and "Benjie's Pockets" and I do a lot of Jenny's (elefantz) designs. I have no answer for either of us. Hang in there. We will be glad we took this on and glad for our decision to take care of our loved ones.

Queen Of The Armchair aka Dzintra Stitcheries said...

Oh Fee I so feel for you...being a Carer is no easy task! Please make sure you get to have your me time, so very, important! You truly are an Angel...Love and Hugs to you xo

teri zachary said...

So sorry that you have been thrown the curve ball, but in the end it will be well worth it. I cared for my mother for awhile because I did not want her in a rest home and I am so glad that I did. You will need your little times to yourself believe me but at least you can still do a little here and there. That will be your piece of mind!! Hope everything goes good and take care. We will be here in the end.

Mary Ann said...

Bless your heart. I hope it all works out. Take care.